Safety First

As a college student, I am often engaged in philosophical debates and discussions with my hallmates, some of whom are aspiring philosophers. I tell them: practice safe logic; use a contrapositive.

Chemistry of Puns

If my puns were chemical reagents, the reaction to my puns would have negative ∆G and ∆H values: the reaction would be spontaneous and heated.

Stress

A lot of college students are stressing out about grades, especially as exams and the end of the semester draw near. People have approached me asking how to make good grades. I tell them, if you want high marks, see a vampire.

Breaded

I asked a number of mythical monsters, among them the Sphinx, the Minotaur, and the Hydra, a question that has been playing on my mind: What do you call a college freshman on a roll? The most common answer was "dinner," but my favorite was "a graduated cylinder."

Concern

I was recently informed that one of my hallmates is a 'fabricator.' Here's a question: If this person were a musical instrument, would he be a lyre? I have no doubt that his music would be unbelievable.

Train (wreck) of Thought

As my eye wandered across my drink at dinner today, a thought entered my mind: What does the chemist order at the soda shop? A qualitative shake?

This led to the following pondering: Why would a chemist be a good disciplinarian? It's because he works with solutions and suspensions.

Finally, what is the chemist's chief source of income? Bonds.

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Driving down the highway, I love reading the billboards that I pass by. My favorite one was a cigarette ad promoting a huge sale of smokes for a really cheap price. It seemed like a real blowout sale. It took my breath away.