Punnery

Safety First

2009-09-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

As a college student, I am often engaged in philosophical debates and discussions with my hallmates, some of whom are aspiring philosophers. I tell them: practice safe logic; use a contrapositive.

Chemistry of Puns

2009-04-05T19:36:00.001-07:00

If my puns were chemical reagents, the reaction to my puns would have negative ∆G and ∆H values: the reaction would be spontaneous and heated.

Stress

2009-04-04T12:43:00.001-07:00

A lot of college students are stressing out about grades, especially as exams and the end of the semester draw near. People have approached me asking how to make good grades. I tell them, if you want high marks, see a vampire.

Breaded

2009-03-31T16:11:00.000-07:00

I asked a number of mythical monsters, among them the Sphinx, the Minotaur, and the Hydra, a question that has been playing on my mind: What do you call a college freshman on a roll? The most common answer was "dinner," but my favorite was "a graduated cylinder."

Concern

2009-03-31T16:07:00.000-07:00

I was recently informed that one of my hallmates is a 'fabricator.' Here's a question: If this person were a musical instrument, would he be a lyre? I have no doubt that his music would be unbelievable.

Train (wreck) of Thought

2009-03-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

As my eye wandered across my drink at dinner today, a thought entered my mind: What does the chemist order at the soda shop? A qualitative shake?

This led to the following pondering: Why would a chemist be a good disciplinarian? It's because he works with solutions and suspensions.

Finally, what is the chemist's chief source of income? Bonds.

2009-03-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Driving down the highway, I love reading the billboards that I pass by. My favorite one was a cigarette ad promoting a huge sale of smokes for a really cheap price. It seemed like a real blowout sale. It took my breath away.

Electrochemistry

2009-03-23T19:50:00.000-07:00

As I sit at my desk thinking of material for this blog, my eyes flashed across my chemistry notebook. Then a question entered my mind: whose idea was it to make electrochemistry so difficult? Maybe the founder spent too much time in a cell.

Estranged

2009-03-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

Everyone has heard the following joke:

Q: Why does no one associate with the average kid?

A: Because he's mean.

I cannot claim credit for that one, but here is a genuine concern of mine: Why do mathematicians shun the ellipse, even though it is not radical? It is because the ellipse is eccentric.

Sick Professor

2009-03-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

There used to be a meteorology professor at our college, but he had to quit because he was always sick. He was really under the weather.